There are so many things running in her mind that gal wish to write in her blog, but she cant seems to find the right words to say. She keeps on drafting all but later she erased it all again and again. One thing for sure the main point is all about this one person who plays and important role in her life. His not her boyfriend..but her best friend, her lovers, her scandalism, her soulmate. He could be her anything and everything that they wish to be. Why she said his not her boyfriend? because they share things like she share with her girl friends, like talking about her love life, talking about the boys she likes in her life, talking about what she do in her life. Basically he knows her well enough not to judge her. But one thing she finds out he dont manage to find out that she have a huge crush on him all these years as he always have someone with him. And she's the type who respect that.
One day she told him that she love him so much and so much is when she cant imagine loosing him and not in contact with him and she rather be his friends not lovers as long she dont loose contact with him. The friendship they've build is what she cherish most about them. Even she knows she'll get hurt when his with someone else. She still want to know if his okay, if he still alive and everything. His been there for her since her first break up and always care for her all this years. So many times they keep on trying to distance themselves but in the end we cant help it and began friends again just to chat and be crazy.
He never thought she would love him so much and that why he never express his feelings for her all this years even he loves her and keep it for so long. He gets jealous of the guys she told him even as a fren.. He remembers every single things she told him or what they do everytime they met. Even she forgets what happen. He remembers all the details when he with her.
Every single time they distance themselve, when they in contact again they always have the same action like wishing to tcxt each otha but they cant so they only manage to text and not send. Or just as simple as watch each otha pictures.
She's lost without him sometimes. Especially when she have no one to turn on to...Where only he knows her and what to respond. Where never judge what she said or how she is.
They fall for each other long enough but may be not the right time. Well never the right time for them. RIGHT? When they truely realize that they love each other it seem a little to late.
NOW they cant be together anymore. All she can do is wish for his HAPPINESS.. Only they know what they feel for each other. Things happen for a reason. She will never stop loving him and definitely wont forget him as he is her other half. No more contact no more THEM. Now is the time to break the circle that they've been running into. NO more ME. No more YOU.
Her last message to Him:
"Sometimes I wish this feeling for u never exist.. so we remain friend...Why give us this feelings when we can never be together....I wish to be mad, angry or even hate you but i just cant...dont worry ill keep on trying to avoid you...My regrets not express my feelings and taking the risk with you since the beginning..Then our love story wont end like this...Take care. Its time to give up on me...Bye"
His last message to her
"I cant fake my feelilngs, but I can pretend to be cold mean bastard. Yes I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH but I think i should commit to whatever I have now...If this a farewell, then let it be. My hands r shaking, body trembling, heart pounding hard....I fear of what's gonna happen but we need to break this circle...Take care...Bye"
And thats how it all ends. With a simple message.....
Some peope can only be in Your Heart, not Your Life.